Ya’ll ain’t from around here, are you?

I’ve been asked that many times since I moved here to Birmingham, Alabama. Just yesterday a lady asked me if I was from Ohio. Well I did grow up in Ohio but spent the majority of my life in the Florida. Florida is NOT the south. It may be well south of Alabama, but it is definitely not the SOUTH!

I have really been trying to fit in here but I guess I still don’t talk the talk. They speak a different language here. Somehow everyone seems to know I’m just a damn Yankee. Some things don’t change. Not here anyway.

I have met some really refined southern ladies who have such beauty and grace. They are so classy, well dressed and well spoken. I can imagine them sitting on a veranda sipping mint juleps in the summertime wearing big hats and long beautiful dresses. To me, they are the true southerners.

The girls I work with however, seems to come from a another place. When they get together I hear these phrases everyday. If I put some of those phrases into a little conversation this is how it would go -

“Where you at? I’m fixin’ to go mix up a mess of fish. Ya’ll can come on if you want. No, not now, this evening. (anytime after 12 noon) Ya’ll can bring the young-uns too ifin you like. If they don’t behave I’ll hafta holler at them. Tell them to say Yes m’amm and No sir if they know what’s good for them.

We’ll have a good time just a piddlin’. If Johnny comes I’ll be madder than a wet hen. He don’t know a rat’s behind from a hole in the ground. I used to could like him but I liked to died when he tried to gimme some sugar that day… you remember doncha?

Now ya’ll be careful, ya here? You member how to git here? Just take that turn right after the big hill, you’ll see the sign where the old Chevy dealer usta be. My daddy got all his cars from that place, sad to see it gone… anyways, ya’ll come on. Kiss that baby for me. I can’t wait to pinch those fat little legs and get me some sugar! Momma loves her sugar…

Oh, and granny’s making her tater salad and slaw so we’ll have plenty to eat. Aunt Jessie’s bringin’ her peach cobbler too. Sure hope Jimmy don’t eat it all fore you git here. Hurry on now. We’ll be waitin’!

Be careful now sweetie, ya here?”

They always say “be careful.” I’m not really sure what it is they want me to be careful about but they always say that. Everyone is a “sweetie", a “darlin” and “precious.” Kinda makes you feel loved, don’t it?

Well, just bless your little heart sweetheart!

This is a photo of the Alabama Crimson Tide girls. Notice a similarity here - with the hair? All blonde and big! Sometimes I feel like the guy in the back with the shocked face...

When I moved here from Florida with my short reddish haircut I started noticing the girl here with their big blond hair. They're everywhere and I started feeling a little odd. I didn't talk like them, didn't look like them and had no idea how I could fit in?

In Florida we say "ya'll," but we don't say "darlin'" or "sweety" or "precious" very often. I hear those words all day long now. It's really kinda cute but definitely something I'm having to learn to get used to.

I live near the place of the original fried green tomatoes and yes, I've eaten plenty of those recently. The green beans here are cooked to mush in bacon fat with lots of onions. Now the cornbread is something I have really learned to love. No one makes cornbread like a southern gal! They don't like fish here but they do love their fried chicken. There is a chicken place on every corner. If you ask for iced tea, you'll get SWEET tea unless you say otherwise and then they look at you as if you were from another planet. Thankfully, I love sweet tea.

Now back to the hair. Along with the hair comes a heavy dose of make up and fake tans.
The girls here are not like the fresh, beach babes in Florida. They are put together in a perfect package that must take hours to achieve!

The sweetness you see on the outside, however, is often hiding a little bit of distaste for anything other than the south. It's really hard to "fit in" here but I'm trying. Maybe I'll bleach my hair blonde and try more of that makeup? Couldn't hurt, right?